Peaches returns from a whirlwind weekend to launch into a jam-packed Pit Party full of chaos, commentary, and chimps with runway aspirations. Kicking things off with the latest To Peach Their Own question — what would a burglar steal if they only took what’s on top of your fridge — Peaches confesses to storing collagen powder, expired oatmeal, and at one point, a real baby (who enjoyed the view). The episode dives into a story about an Oasis fan who missed the entire concert after being knocked out cold by a sprinting security guard — and Peaches does not hold back on how emotionless he thinks the Gallagher brothers would be about it.
In other wild news: Microsoft reveals AI is slowly reshaping (not replacing) white-collar jobs, inflatable beach ball fetishes are trending, and a rogue water monitor lizard named Goose eludes authorities across two states before being recaptured and repurposed as a reptile ambassador. There’s also a zoo in Denmark asking the public to donate unwanted pets — yes, as food for predators. Meanwhile, the band Silly Goose gets arrested for performing at a BP gas station, and Nickelback karaoke triggers a Canadian rescue operation after screams of “Photograph” were mistaken for distress calls.
Peaches also covers Micah Parsons’ Cowboys drama, blindfolded linebacker training, and the MLB All-Star Game heading back to Wrigley Field. But the real kicker? The USDA using Scarlett Johansson’s Marriage Story meltdown to scare wolves. And then there’s the woman found dead on a bus in Brazil with 26 iPhones glued to her torso. Glue. iPhones. Death. It’s a lot. But you’ll laugh, learn, and leave with way more knowledge about chimps and fashion than you probably asked for.