Ep. 272 - Culver’s Rewards Turn Peaches Into a Full-Time Fast-Food Athlete - 11/18/2025
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S1 E273

Ep. 272 - Culver’s Rewards Turn Peaches Into a Full-Time Fast-Food Athlete - 11/18/2025

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Peaches Pit Party from Tuesday, November 18th, 2025 / Peaches blasts into Tuesday with the excitement of a man who just discovered religion, except the religion is Culver’s finally launching a rewards program. He confesses he has basically lived on nothing but Taco Bell and Culver’s deluxe doubles for weeks, and now he can earn points for it like some kind of fast-food Olympian. After yesterday’s McRib investigation turned into a statewide manhunt, Peaches is immediately corrected by a listener whose mom works at McDonald’s, proving the McRib is secretly thriving in Idaho Falls despite the locator website being run by what he assumes is a single rogue McRib fanatic. From there, he unleashes on the Starbucks bearista cup insanity, recounting the battle lines drawn at 4 AM, the employee hoarding allegations, and Walmart stepping in with cheap knockoff bear cups that will absolutely get kids roasted at school.

Thanksgiving enters the chat and instantly gets body-slammed. Peaches paints a disturbing culinary crime scene involving Jell-O salads full of clams, olives, and crab meat. He rants about bland turkey, uncomfortable family questions, and why Thanksgiving is his personal villain origin story. Then comes the cryogenic rabbit hole — the tale of a Chinese man who froze his wife in hopes of a future cure, only to start dating someone new while his first wife is chilling in a -320 degree container like a sci-fi time capsule.

Sports returns with a World Cup argument involving accusations of voodoo during a shootout, a new women’s pro baseball league, and LeBron preparing to become the first player ever to hit 23 seasons. Peaches also breaks down a BBC article asking when tourists should return after disasters, imagining bewildered locals watching sunburned Americans stroll into a wrecked island like they’re rating a resort.

He slams millennial burger spots charging fifty bucks for a cheeseburger and a toothpick flag, exposes a restaurant serving “fish and chips” without the chips unless you ask, and dives into the story of a Japanese woman who legally married an AI persona created through ChatGPT. Peaches tries to understand the business model of a company that plans weddings for people marrying fictional characters and spirals into what that guest list must look like.

Then Boise loses its mind waiting overnight for Raising Cane’s chicken tenders, Classy97 enters a Christmas-music turf war with another station, Peaches accidentally scares himself with audio from his own Bad Omens reaction video, and a Montana man gets arrested after crashing while trying to go number one into an empty Budweiser can. Peaches ends the episode torching Call of Duty Black Ops 7 again, questioning how the developers can celebrate a game universally considered a digital dumpster fire.

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