Ep. 279 - The Day Fifteen Tours Dropped Before Breakfast - 12/09/2025

Today’s episode detonates immediately as Peaches tries to keep up with a tidal wave of tour announcements that hit the internet before sunrise, including everything from Slaughter to Prevail to Amon Amarth and even Bilmuri, all while he forgets that he literally opened the show by playing Downswing, the very band he just interviewed on their tour bus after their Toronto date collapsed in spectacular fashion 

From there he launches into an enthusiastic breakdown of their album And Everything Was Dark, boldly ranking it among the year’s best even while insisting nobody cares about his list because he is, in his own words, a random DJ in East Idaho. The episode then swerves sideways into the ever expanding GameStop Trade Anything Day saga where Peaches catalogs the disturbing pile of items people traded in, including a taxidermy bobcat, a goose, a painting of Snoop Dogg, a speed limit sign, and the sacred Wii Netflix disc, prompting him to question whether GameStop is evolving into a pawn shop designed by someone who dreams exclusively in clutter 

Sports arrive next, with Peaches ranting about FIFA’s decision to cram more commercial breaks into the World Cup under the disguise of hydration, followed by an NFL schedule shuffle, and his disbelief that a toddler has become a ranked chess player after annihilating adults who now must live with that memory forever. The escalation continues when Peaches gives a heartfelt salute to r Bald, calling it the internet’s beacon of supportive masculinity as he reminisces about the triumphant day he shaved his head live on Facebook before pivoting sharply into the most unexpected holiday revelation of the year: the original voice of Frosty the Snowman apparently maintained three secret families, a detail dropped by his own son on a random radio show for reasons unknown to any human alive 

Peaches then interrogates the sudden national obsession with the Grinch, from fast food tie ins to sold out socks, while lamenting that his size 16 feet prevent him from participating in these festivities unless a mythical company decides to start producing socks suitable for someone built like a newly drafted NBA center. He circles back to the warzone that is r Metalcore as he revisits the explosive thread he started about the worst songs of 2025, rehashing the ongoing battles over Avenged Sevenfold, Sleep Token, A Day To Remember, and The Devil Wears Prada as if moderating a heavyweight tournament where every contestant is offended and also correct at the same time. Christmas Card Day emerges as another ordeal as Peaches relives the memory of Walmart repeatedly chopping off parts of his homemade card last year, and just when the episode seems normal again, he delivers a maritime disaster involving a cruise ship delayed because shipping containers filled with bananas toppled into the sea. He ends with a full breakdown of the modern cost of The Twelve Days of Christmas, including a jaw dropping price tag on ten lords a leaping that makes Peaches reconsider everything he understands about the economy and holiday tradition 

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